Column: Love hurts on the island of pain

Love island
Love island

After a campaign of quite determined avoidance, I finally caved and watched an episode or two of the much equally beloved and maligned ‘Love Island’.

I was reluctant to board this particular train, the thought of potentially watching vacuous strangers get intimate live on TV in a desperate bid for fame, did not appeal - it could almost be said I would rather watch England v Timbuktoo in the World Cup (though indeed, if such a clash existed, I might).

But after almost incessant bombarding on social media, via newsdesk press releases, and every other overheard conversation down the street, I decided to see what the fuss was about.

I was admittedly distracted in my mission (I started to watch series one of Victoria and binge-watched four episodes) before turning back to Love Island with trepidation.

At first I scoffed at the premise of making a bunch of overly attractive women stand semi-naked and ankle deep in a Mallorcan pool to be picked by a man (yes long dead suffragettes, this is what we have been reduced to) but I agree it does make strangely addictive watching in the manner of stalker-ish voyeurism.

To put it in context, and if like me you never quite made the cool gang at school, it’s like having an in depth knowledge of every single conversation, drama and flirtation experienced by the 'in' kids sitting on the back seat of the bus on the school trip - except here the stakes are higher (free villa holiday, a relationship, endless Instagram glory, never getting a ‘real job.’)

But yes it is entirely possible to become invested in the ups and down of Big Brother-style life in a world where everyone is drop dead gorgeous if not as generously blessed in the brains department (one or two excepted, who cleverly using the show for their own means).

What this show - love or hate it - does do is showcase what can be horribly wrong in relationships.

It seems so obvious in other couples - control, pressure, manipulation - or when they are simply not suited or when they so obviously are.

It proves the adage that ‘who dares wins’ as well as ‘love is blind’ as well as definitive proof that ‘love hurts.’