Stand-up comedian exposes Wigan fare dodger on Edinburgh-bound train

Ignacio Lopez
Ignacio Lopez

A stand-up comedian has accounted how a cheeky Wigan fare dodger was unmasked by a canny guard on a train to Edinburgh.

Spanish comedian Ignacio Lopez chronicled the exchange on Twitter, which took place during a train journey to Edinburgh on Friday (January 10) - and it has gone viral.

The story begins with Mr Lopez telling how the man boarded the train bound for the Scottish capital at Wigan and sat opposite him.

He then went to sleep for an hour before he woke up, bought a sandwich and ate it, and then went back to sleep.

Later the train guard then walks through, checking tickets and gently wakes the man, who says he got on the train at Carlisle, much to the bemusement of the guard.

The rest of the story unfolds on Mr Lopez’s Twitter account which has had almost 33,000 tweets and nearly 128,000 likes.

Wigan North Western train station

Wigan North Western train station

Mr Lopez tweets: “Ticket, please?" "Oh, I need to buy a ticket?" "Where you going, pal?“ The guy glances at his phone. “Edinburgh”. “Where did you get on?"

“I can see the cogs working in this guy’s head. He figures out roughly where we are and what the last stop was. “Carlisle”. The train guard sits down next to him and pauses. “Are you sure you didn’t get on sooner?”

“The guy is wondering if the guard saw him earlier. He decides to go for it. Poker face time. I feel like I’m watching Pacino & De Niro face off in ‘Heat’.

“I got on in Carlisle.” The train guard furrows his brow, puts his ticket machine down and picks up a receipt from the table in front of the guy.

But the train guard then said that the train stopped in Carlisle ten minutes previously, but that the receipt was issued over an hour ago.

Mr Lopez tweets: “Train guard has evidence. Wasn’t this supposed to be made available to the defence team? I can see the beads of sweat forming on the guy’s forehead. That’s not mine (ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the evidence the prosecution have is circumstantial).

“This receipt is for a sandwich, you’ve got crumbs all over you. He does, too! The train guard is Sherlock Holming this.

“The guy might has well have had mayo on his face. What a plum!

“That’s not mine. I had a sandwich in Carlisle”. Damn. He’s denying everything. Is the train guard going to inspect the sandwich packaging? “Carlisle to Edinburgh, that’s £27. Cash or card?.”

At this time, Lopez then tweets that the passenger has been successful and seemingly got away with it and will only have to pay the fare from Carlisle.

But this was not to be the end of the tale as then Lopez notices the train guard looking at the card very closely.

He realises that the man had used the card to buy the sandwich earlier, and said that if the camera footage was checked it would confirm this.

The man then ends up having to pay £71 for the train from Wigan to Edniburgh, with Lopez highlighting the high price of rail travel.

He added: “I fell asleep. I was a bit spaced out” “No problem, sir. Where did you get on?” “Wigan.” “That’ll be £71, please, sir.”

“The guy didn’t sleep again after that. He spent the rest of the journey staring down at that receipt.

“I mean, the real crime here is the price of rail travel but, wow. “What a trip.”