Wigan funeral director discusses saying goodbye with dignity at a time of so many curbs on tradition

Traditions stretching back generations have been ditched and natural emotional instincts to comfort have had to be reined as the Covid-19 pandemic strikes at those in their darkest hour.
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Today a Wigan funeral director explained the added distress that the outbreak and necessary lockdown have caused grieving loved ones, in many cases regardless of whether or not the deceased succumbed to coronavirus.

Church funerals have been scrapped for now, limousines are used only sparingly and services are for now limited to just 10 mourners.

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Because of social distancing rules, undertakers cannot offer the tactile condolences that some bereaved people would clearly appreciate.

R Banks and Son (Funerals) are having to adapt to the lockdown conditions. Picture by Carina Jones of Photography RedwoodR Banks and Son (Funerals) are having to adapt to the lockdown conditions. Picture by Carina Jones of Photography Redwood
R Banks and Son (Funerals) are having to adapt to the lockdown conditions. Picture by Carina Jones of Photography Redwood

Lynne Morton, who works as an undertaker for Pemberton R Banks and Sons (Funerals), said that her heart goes out even more than usual to those suffering a loss at present.

She added: “These are difficult times indeed, and I think that the limit on the number of people who can attend a funeral, due to social distancing, is the one which causes the most upset.

“We are just the bearers of bad news: it is up to the families to decide who can come. When you factor in sons, daughters, brothers and sisters, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, it soon takes you over the limit.

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“We used to have a lot of church services but that was stopped six weeks ago now too.

“We are having to deal with things in such a different way from the one we are used to and want to.

“It’s our job to provide as normal service as possible and with as much dignity. One way of helping with the former problem is having webcast facilities for those who are unable to attend themselves. We also offer a service to record the service as well.

“As far as limousines are concerned, we encourage mourners to use their own cars whenever possible although if they insist, only three people can travel in them so that they are a safe distance from the driver.

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“Another upsetting aspect of the current restrictions is the necessary social distancing when speaking with family.

“Funeral directors are very tactile people and not to be able to shake the hands of relatives is very alien and strange.

“It’s difficult for all concerned when someone is getting upset and you want to console them but you can’t.”

Ms Morton said that some crematoria were also being strict on the issue of pallbearers, insisting instead that the remains be taken in and out of the chapel not on mourners’ shoulders but on a wheel bier (coffin trolley).

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Interestingly, R Banks and Son say they have not, however, experienced much if any of an overall increase in deaths in recent weeks compared to the same period last year.

They are also keen to lay the lie that all funerals must now involve cremation rather than burial. Both forms of committal are still permissible. That said, operations manager Gareth Jones admits that the situation remains very much in flux.

He added: “Things are changing very fast. We are having to deal with about five policy changes a day. My email is going ape at the moment!

“These are particularly distressing times and we are adapting as best we can.

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“The limit on the number of mourners is especially difficult for families to bear.”

But he said there had been no noticeable slowing down in the period between death and committal because of the virus and commensurate restrictions.

This, he said, was in part thanks to Wigan Council’s making it possible to register deaths over the telephone.

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