A tearful Dom Crosby has spoken movingly about the death of his baby daughter - in the hope it will help others deal with bereavements.
The former Wigan Warriors prop's world fell apart when Ada died shortly after she was born in 2017.
By his own admission Crosby is a private man, but he has now spoken candidly about his family's tragedy.
He has become an ambassador for the charity 'Strongmen' and, in an 18-minute video interview on YouTube - embedded in this article - recalled in harrowing detail the experience he, wife Megan and their family went through as Ada was taken ill soon after her birth.
"As I got (to the hospital), she was having a cardiac arrest in front of me," he said. "She ended up having two cardiac arrests. The next time I saw here, she was on a life support machine, cut open from her belly all the way to her chest.
"I felt helpless. Like, 'I'm her dad, I should be protecting her', but there was nothing I could do. I just wished it was me.
"I was staying positive, staying strong for her, and Megan was on the same page. We went to bed and I'll never forget the call, about 2am, and I knew what it was about.
"The fella said, 'you better come in.' I knew it was bad news."
He continued: "Seeing her in her casket was the worst thing I've had to do. I just wish I never did it. The day of the funeral, it was gut-wrenching. I felt empty. I had to carry my girl in a wooden box down the aisle. It's nothing a father or mother should ever have to do.
"I've never physically wanted to commit suicide but at the time, I spoke to Megan and said, 'I understand why people do it'. I didn't see any point in me being here any more."
Crosby spent six years with hometown club Wigan and bowed out with the 2016 Grand Final victory. He was at Warrington when Ada passed and, months later, Megan fell pregnant with their son, Oscar, who was born in May 2018.
"When Megan came down with a pregnancy test, my first feeling was fear. I was scared," said Crosby, who is now at Leeds. "I never wanted to experience that pain again.
"I couldn't enjoy the moment he was born, because I knew he'd have to have tests. The best feeling ever - bar holding Ada for the first time - was taking my son home and holding him in my own arms. I felt everyone's happiness for us.
"I'm truly grateful for that little boy, he's a blessing in my life."
Strongmen.org.uk is a charity which aims to tackle emotional and mental health issues brought about by bereavement. It provides weekend breaks for men aged 18 to 55 who have lost a spouse, child, parent or sibling.
Explaining why he became an ambassador, Crosby added: "Since Ada passed, I feel myself I've changed. I wanted to help people. Strongmen is about people suffering mental health problems through bereavement and not dealt with it the best way they could have. They provide support and weekends, and it's about having that kinship and knowing people have been through what you've been through.
"I was really honoured to be asked to be an ambassador for this charity. It's a great charity run by great people, and I'm proud to be a part of it."