The daily battle to beat loneliness as Covid magnifies bereavement

Widower Alan Cunliffe was taking a break in Tenerife in February - his first time away since the loss of his beloved wife Mildred before Christmas - when double disaster struck.

First the hotel was besieged by a sandstorm, then no sooner was that over than all guests were confined to their rooms after a Covid-19 case was reported.

A fortnight later he was whisked home but then had to spend weeks home alone in Whelley, during which time he celebrated his 83rd birthday.

This week he told the Wigan Observer of the struggles, successes and lifestyle changes he has faced in the four months after he arrived home.

He says that loneliness is often there, although he puts that more down to his bereavement than the coronavirus restrictions, although they haven’t helped.

But the stoical former builder is determined to fill his days as much as possible, not least by exercising regularly, treating himself to an upgrade of his house and learning several new languages to prepare him for future overseas trips!

Alan said: “All of what happened in Tenerife seems such a long time ago now. I am reasonably well but I can be low sometimes. I don’t think I shall ever get over losing my Mildred.

“Some people have said ‘you could get yourself a lady friend,’ but while I prefer the company of women to men on the whole and am happy to chat and socialise, I can’t see there ever being anyone else at my side.

“The lockdown hasn’t helped of course but I am the type who wants to keep busy. I am forcing myself to walk 45 to 46 miles a week, my optician says I have better than 20-20 vision and I am feeling physically good. You have to push yourself.

“I get most of my shopping delivered although I do pop to the local Tesco for bits and never cease to be amazed when strangers look at me and ask if I’m that Tenerife chap in the Observer!

“I have decided to push the boat out and get a new kitchen and bathroom - why not? - and I also plan to learn several languages so that I have at least the rudiments for if I go to other countries when this horrible virus is finally out of the way. I’m on German at the moment.

“The Masons are still there for me and always will be although we communicate by email rather than have meetings which I miss. And I do miss my crown green bowling. I thought they would have resumed again by now but there’s no sign so far. It’s very competitive but there’s great companionship and banter.

“Neighbours and family help and this is much appreciated. I’ve never been much a of a pub-goer but have taken friends for a meal.

“But it is a lonely, lonely world at the moment.”