'˜I'm sorry about this but I want to go...I love you'
A mum-of-four died 'instantly' after being hit by a train on her partner's birthday, an inquest heard.
Charlotte Cash, 35, suffered multiple injuries in the collision at Wigan North Western station on Friday, February 17.
An inquest held in Bolton today heard she kissed and cuddled her long-term partner Andrew Tollitt before he went to work that morning.
She sent him several text messages that day expressing her feelings, but there was nothing to suggest she wanted to end her life, the inquest heard.
But that evening officers from British Transport Police told him they believed she had been struck by a train.
She left a note for Mr Tollitt, part of which was read aloud by the coroner.
It said: “I’m sorry for this but I want to go. I have been feeling this for weeks. I love you so much and the kids.”
The inquest heard Miss Cash, of Scot Lane, Newtown, was seen looking upset on a platform at the station by a passenger waiting for the 3.09pm service to Euston.
As the train approached, she jumped from the platform without hesitation.
Driver John Baker told the inquest he was already slowing the train and hit the emergency brakes, but did not have enough time to stop.
He had boarded the train shortly before at Preston and had already tested the brakes.
The inquest heard Miss Cash had previously attempted to take her own life in December 2015 following the death of her uncle.
She was treated in hospital and seen several times by mental health workers from the home treatment team.
They noted that she appeared “brighter” but were concerned that she “masked how she felt”.
She was discharged from the service in February 2016 and talked about returning to work as a carer, the inquest heard.
Miss Cash continued to be seen by her GP and was prescribed several medications.
The inquest heard she also obtained diazepam illicitly to help her sleep and had been using cocaine.
At an appointment on January 25 this year, she told GP Dr Majid Hussain she had tried to harm herself the week before in a “spontaneous act”.
She denied having suicidal thoughts and was making future plans, Dr Hussain said. He gave her contact details for the health crisis team.
Toxicologist Julie Evans said tests carried out after Miss Cash’s death showed she had taken cocaine and alcohol.
There were also other drugs in her system, some of which may have been obtained illicitly or cut with the cocaine.
Mrs Evans explained to the inquest how cocaine use can be associated with risk-taking behaviour and prolonged use can be linked to paranoia. The “come down” can lead to anxiety, depression and low mood, she said.
Coroner John Pollard said he was surprised the pathologist had not included the drugs in the cause of death and thought they may have affected her at the time.
He said: “I know sadly she absolutely died instantly at the scene.”
He said he believed Miss Cash intended to take her life and recorded a verdict of suicide, adding: “I think there’s ample evidence to show she knew what she was doing.”
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