LUKE MARSDEN - Had I won a Golden Ticket?

It has been nearly a week since the ‘lockdown’ but for some reading this it may well be a lot longer. Never have I wanted to be the CEO of Netflix more than I do right now, every day would be celebration and chill.

I think we are all learning a lot about ourselves and our country in these dystopian times but I’m actually learning some new phrases, prior to all of this has anyone ever used the term social distancing? It sounds like a bronze level sport in the Olympics. For those who live on their own like myself, self-isolation is known by another phrase, daily life although I have found myself talking to my Amazon Alexa more, asking her questions that I don’t particular care about the answers to such as ‘what’s the temperature like outside?’

I went to my local Tesco Express to not stockpile essentials like ice cream and chocolate, the entire process was bizarre, it had a bouncer on the door, a basket wash station and only three people allowed inside at once. When I did eventually get inside, I felt like I’d won a ticket into Willy Wonka’s factory albeit less sweets and limited to two per person.

Fortunately, I have some prior experience when it comes to being locked inside a house for a long period of time, I’ve been asked for some tips on how to stay sane. Just start narrating every action you’re doing, that will help pass the time or lead to a divorce. Back in 2008 Myspace was still the biggest social platform so we’re now lucky enough to have a dozen ways to share the lack of activity we’re doing with the world.

We can all get through this if we all stick together, well sort of, virtually together and physically two meters apart. I’ve sung happy birthday that much I must be 305 by now.

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