LUKE MARSDEN: I am no longer a Bongo's Bingo virgin

​That’s what Heather Small asked nearly 1,000 of us in a giant shed in Liverpool city centre last week. I can announce I’m no longer a Bongo’s Bingo virgin.

I’d heard a lot about these infamous evenings and this "Step into Xmas with Elton John” theme was highly anticipated. Not that I expected actual Elton to show up but Heather Small is a good substitute.

The concept is simple: get drunk, get roasted by the hosts if you give a false bingo call and attempt to win some actual cash.

I love a game of bingo: I used to play when we had Gala Bingo in the town centre (I haven’t tried Buzz Bingo) but after a few drinks quite the buzz takes hold at Bongo’s Bingo, I was surprised just how seriously drunk people take playing bingo.

But the cash prizes were quite substantial alongside the filler prizes of an electric mobility scooter and a multipack of Disney Princesses.

I was relieved to not win either, especially as I got the train to Liverpool so getting the scooter back on Northern Rail would’ve been fun.

Sadly I didn’t win a penny but perhaps this was a blessing in disguise as the prize money is paid in cash and carrying around £1K on the streets on a Friday night probably wouldn’t have ended well.

Heather Small belted out all her hits to a crowd that thought it was at Glastonbury and as the fake snow rained down.

I began to Google what Bongo’s Bingo nights are on in Hindley’s Monaco.

My friend once attended a themed night in Wigan and watched someone urinate in a sink. I wasn’t surprised after surviving last week’s inaugural Bongo event.

Will you see me at The Monaco next year with my dabber in hand and the hope of winning a cardboard cutout of Freddie Mercery? Don’t stop me now!