Grieving Wigan man shares toll of dementia on wife who 'loved Christmas'

Darryl Atherton, from Wigan, cared for his wife Susan for six years after she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, until she died in January 2021

The festive period is now a difficult time for him, as he spends it without his partner and anticipates the upcoming anniversary of her death.

He said: “Susan loved Christmas.

“We always spent it at her mum and dad’s, with her family. The family would come together and go to the pub and Susan would make the Christmas dinner for everyone. In the years after Susan’s diagnosis in 2015, things started to change dramatically.

“Susan started to lose more and more confidence. It was so hard seeing someone who did everything become a person who was scared of her own shadow. Her siblings and son found it hard to see Susan become so ill and withdrew a little.

"I have never been big on Christmas, but this time of year is particularly hard as it’s the anniversary of her death in January. We were together for 17 years.”

Darryl has spoken out as part of the Christmas appeal launched by Alzheimer’s Society.

A new survey by the charity found Christmas will never be the same for 65 per cent of carers, who say dementia has “robbed” them of a care-free and joyful festive season.

More than 100,000 people in the North West are living with dementia, but over a third of them are unable to visit loved ones and 29 per cent are no longer able to recognise family members.

Of the carers surveyed in the North West, 36 per cent said they felt more emotionally drained and 14 per cent felt more physically exhausted.

Chief executive Kate Lee said: “One in three people born today will develop dementia in their lifetime. Christmas should be joyful but for many of the 900,000 people living with dementia and their families, their Christmases have changed forever.

“Too many people are facing dementia alone. We want everyone affected by dementia to know that whoever you are, whatever you’re going through, you can turn to Alzheimer’s Society for help.

“Over a quarter of carers (27 per cent) we spoke to say the greatest Christmas gift they could receive would be talking to someone who understands. Our dementia advisers are just a call or a click away. They can give someone the guidance, advice and empathy they desperately need.

“If you’re able to, please help us be there for everyone living with dementia this Christmas whatever the day brings, by donating to our Christmas appeal.”

Actor and comedian Meera Syal, who is an ambassador for the charity, lost both of her parents to dementia.

She said: “Our family cared for our parents for over a decade and so understand how emotionally draining and physically exhausting this can be for carers. It’s devastating to know how many other people up and down the UK have reached breaking point.

“I encourage everyone who can this festive season to donate to Alzheimer’s Society’s Christmas appeal. You will be making a difference to the lives of thousands of people affected by dementia, and that is the greatest gift of all.”

For support or to donate, visit alzheimers.org.uk/Christmas.