Wigan mum shares her heartbreaking baby loss story

Mother-of-three Sara Lou, who lives with partner Darren and three sons, Noah, eight, Dominic, seven, and two-year-old Damon, wants to encourage people to talk more about the issue of baby and pregnancy loss.

Sarah Lou lost her first child, Dainton-Lee, at just 10 days old on September 2, 2013.

Baby Loss Awareness Week 2022 runs from October 9 to 15, with a candle being lit on the last day to honour and remember the young lives lost.

One in four people in the UK experiences pregnancy or baby loss, yet stigma and silence can often mean families feel isolated in their grief.

Sarah Lou said: “I am a parent who has been robbed of her son.

“On August 22 in 2013, I went into sudden labour at 33 weeks pregnant and went straight to hospital. I was put on monitors and they rushed me down to theatre for an emergency C-section because Dainton-Lee’s heart rate was dropping rapidly.

"Dainton-Lee was born at 9.47am and he was struggling to breathe.

"Doctors quickly moved him to neonatal and put him on a machine to help him breathe.

"He was in an incubator with wires and tubes everywhere. He looked so fragile; my heart was shattered.

"He was moved to another hospital with a level three standard of care, the highest level, because that’s what he needed.

"But his condition continued to deteriorate; it was absolutely heartbreaking to see.

"After 10 days of him fighting for his life, numerous tests, heart scans, gases and blood tests, I agreed to turn the machines off. There was nothing more the doctors could do to save Dainton’s life and this was the fairest thing for him: to let him fly with the angels.

“As the doctors and nurses started taking his tubes out and decreasing his medication, I was finally allowed to give my son a cuddle for the first time.

"Within five minutes, he passed away at 1am on September 2, and I felt like my heart had been ripped out.

"I spent a few hours with him, kissing and cuddling him, telling him all the things we could have done, and got him dressed.

“Feeling empty, I placed him into his cold cot with his teddy and blanket and went back to my room where I cried like never before.

"The following morning, I said my final goodbyes and gave him a kiss and a cuddle for the last time.

"When the post-mortem results came back, I found out that Dainton-Lee died from Total Anonmalous Pulmonary Venous Drainage (TAPVD) – a very rare heart condition. Sepsis had run all through his tiny body.

"I was left completely heartbroken. This has, by far, been the hardest and most traumatic time of my life.”

Sarah Lou now regularly fund-raises for Sands, a stillbirth and neonatal death charity in the UK.

She said: “Sands is a wonderful organisation which has been a great help and comfort over the years. People who have suffered a loss like mine need to know that there is help out there.”

If you have experienced pregnany or baby loss, you can seek help and support at: https://www.sands.org.uk/