Talking sport: It's the hope that kills you...but hope is all Wigan Athletic fans have to cling to
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Firstly, the script would get immediately thrown out for being too far-fetched.
But if I had a pound for every time I've heard that comment, I'd have enough money to pay the wages and give Shaun Maloney a decent budget for next season.
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Hide AdAh, next season...which seems like a mythical place at the moment.
Even next week is too far into the future to look...with every single day potentially critical to the club's future.
Will we have new owners by then? Who knows.
But one thing's for sure. Phoenix 2021 Limited have signalled their intent to depart as quickly as they appeared on the scene just over two years ago.
Two years.
Where to even start about looking back over what's happened, and is continuing to happen.
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Hide AdOr in the case of the wages, what is continuing to not happen.
"Breaking News: Wigan Atheltic (sic) Football Club Will Never Go Into Administration Again," tweeted Talal Al Hammad on July 1, 2021.
The one-year anniversary of that fateful day when Gerald Krasner appeared from out of nowhere to kick off nine months of utter hell.
I must admit, the sub-editor (and pedant) in me did immediately wonder if that was a deliberate typo, to protect himself against the possibility of Wigan Athletic actually being placed into administration again.
It seemed churlish to point that out at the time.
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Hide AdBut the events of the last few months mean we are teetering on the brink of it happening again.
Twice, in three years.
Only at Wigan Athletic.
Just as no club does things quite like this one in a good way, there's nothing quite like a Latics catastrophe to show other clubs how it's done.
Even the cautious optimism following the statement on Sunday night that the owners had found a buyer was very quickly tempered when his identity came out.
Sarbjot Johal, a 21-year-old soft drinks entrepreneur, whose personal wealth has been estimated at anything from $50million down to 50 cents.
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Hide AdWho's been waiting for the green light from the EFL to take over at Morecambe since the turn of the year.
He may not have any disqualifying conditions, but if he hasn't sufficiently proved himself to be a 'fit and proper person' to run a football club, alarm bells are certainly ringing.
Without painting too bleak a picture, Latics don't have six months to wait.
For the staff - including boss Maloney and his senior players - who remain unpaid, every day is another cut on the way to a painful death.
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Hide AdThe Latics ownership group met with the EFL on Monday night to discuss their proposals for handing over the club to its next owner.
While they were there, the EFL would have been entitled to ask about the unpaid wages, and whether they need to make changes to next season's League One fixture list, with Latics already having a huge asterisk against their name.
Waiting in line for answers are also HMRC, with Tom Markham - who, along with Oliver Gottmann, departed the club on Sunday night (please, keep up) - confirming the club is in arrears.
With Mal Brannigan having departed earlier this year, only Al Hammad remains of the board of directors.
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Hide AdThe ship is rudderless and floating towards the Bermuda Triangle.
Fans are frantic with worry. For the second time in three years.
It's an utterly unacceptable situation, and fingers crossed there is a happy ending.
As ever, it's the hope that kills you.
At the moment, though, hope is sadly all we have to cling on to.